Member-only story
It’s not just a simple handshake with me.
Note: This is something I wrote a few years ago, and it’s about as creative as my writing gets. Someone really hated this one so I was hesitant to post. But then I remembered I’m a writer and people are always going to be critical. Also please note I’d rather you ask about things than not and just stare at my buffet of oddities. This is more satirical than anything. Enjoy — or not.
Onward with the story
Shaking my hand must be impossible for other people. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. The experience is clearly a trying one where the shaker must hurdle past human curiosity and general medical concern in order to go in for the kill.
Let’s start with the natural reaction when you go to shake someone’s hand. You look toward the hand in an “I would like to grab the correct appendage” glance. During this initial survey the shaker would notice that I, the shakee, have a red arm. My right arm is a blotchy, puffy, bright pink limb that is not easily missed. And I know what people think, because once they notice, they ask. Some of the theories are reasonable. Some of them are far-fetched. All are completely human attempts to rationalize what the person is seeing.
